Marriage Monday – “Is Divorce Ever Right?”

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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Marriage Monday is here again, and the question posed for us today is:

“Is Divorce Ever Right?” Here’s an opportunity to share your wisdom, Scriptural knowledge, experience, quotes, or any other insights you might have. Please feel free to approach this vital subject from any angle you feel led.

There is a simple answer. NO.

My experience with divorce… let’s see. My grandparent’s were divorced – he was an alcoholic, left her with 6 children, and eventually he committed suicide. My parents are divorced — 3 months after I married my sweetheart (Christmas eve to be exact) they announced that they were getting divorced.. And myself.. though not divorced, we’ve walked too close down that road (b/c of our own choosing), and have come to the discovery that

1. God does not want divorce to be an option.

2. Divorce is not in my vocabulary any longer.

3. Divorce is preventable. It is hard work, but you have to CHOOSE to be married. There are ways out of a lot of things, but they are not always God’s choosing, they are our own.

4. God can heal a broken a broken marriage. I am living proof of this. If he wasn’t the healer of broken hearts and so merciful and gracious to me, I would not be married today.

Now, I know some people are rolling their eyes thinking, what about infidelity, what about abuse, etc. Those things happen. We live in a broken world. Staying married, doesn’t mean putting yourself in dangerous situations; it’s about honoring a commitment you’ve made to your spouse and more importantly to God. If you didn’t get married with God in your marriage, you are going to struggle a lot more with this – but than God wasn’t there from the start. I’m not saying that to be mean; it’s a fact. If you start off marriage with God and Choose to live marriage as he commands

** let me add here, my post for some reason is missing the rest of it. I have been having bad connection today and for some reason it’s 4pm and everything I posted earlier is gone, except the orginal unedited. I feel bad b/c some have read it already it.

To sum it up b/f my connection dies on me again (we had a wind storm and the tower is out I think)

God doesn’t like divorce, he hates it. I don’t believe it’s okay even with infidelity; it is an option b/c we have hard hearts. If we truly repent he can heal our marriages. How do i know this? Because he has healed mine. I am not judging those who have been thru it, or who are looking at it. I don’t believe it is a biblical solution; it is worldly. I had previously listed the scriptures where it included the word divorce in it. If I can offer the advice to anyone who is going down that road is repent for your own part in it. Seek forgiveness, and swallow your pride; make amends the best you can. If you are staying together b/c of the kids or any other reason you feel is right… choose the right reason to stay together.. because it is a choice to stay married.

Anyhow, I have to stop now. I apologize for the mess of this post, but it’s as good as it’s going to get at the moment!

God Bless.



14 responses to “Marriage Monday – “Is Divorce Ever Right?”

  1. Yes marriage is a commitment. It is hard work. I too walked a close line. God can save marriages. I too am living proof.

  2. Very well said. Bless you!

  3. I do not like divorce which is probably why I stayed in such a violent relationship for as long as I did. It was either get out of it or end up dead. Shows what happens when Christ is not in a marriage or your life and you are living wrong and doing things you shouldn’t. Praise God he gave me a wonderful husband in Jack and things are a lot better now that God is in my life!

  4. I have to say, I don’t fully agree with never divorcing.
    I have seen several couples that have stayed together just for the kids and they can’t stand each other. There’s usually a lot of arguing and stress also involved in these marriages.

    Kids totally sense all that and I just think it’s a bad position to put children in.

    I agree that adults can work it out if they so choose, but really I think each situation is different and a personal choice between each couple.

    I think God is pretty clear on divorce, the only two “acceptable” (in His eyes) reasons for divorce are infidelity or abandonment.

    Would I say that someone shouldn’t get divorced if there are reasons other then these two that He gives us: I think we each have to make that decision with our spouse.
    I don’t think it’s a sin if someone does get divorced for reasons other then the two mentioned above.
    I don’t think God turns His back on us if we do divorce.

    I just don’t think it’s as cut and dry as “no” or “yes.”

  5. Wow, this was great…

    What a blessing to see how committed you are to keep your vows. You’ve been through so much.

    I’m so glad you worked out things, and I know God will HONOR this greatly.

    Blessings to you~

  6. abandonment – from a non – Christian yes.
    infidelity … yes..

    God “permits” these things.. he still doesn’t like them. He says is he hates divorce.

    does God turn his back on us? He loves us, doesn’t he? We are the ones who’ve disobeyed, not God… and I’m not God, but I do believe his word is clear that we’re not living under his umbrella when we turn our backs to what he’s told us to do as Christians. We reap the rewards of what we sow. God’s grace and mercy is bountiful. Living away from his protection by disobeying his word … well.. I’ve been away before and I pray that I stay closer to him every day… sin is sin. And I’m not saying it as a judgment on others, I’m saying it as what I understand God’s word to be. I walk away from God everytime I choose to disobey him and marriage is no different. My parents stayed together b/c of the “children”.. the fighting the yelling.. they are a product of what they thought was acceptable and the way they thought marriage should be…they could have chosen to work it out. they chose not to. Even through the mess they both created together they chose to do disobey. Both of them will have to pay the consequences of a failed marriage. They both choose the consequences.
    Does that make us any less God’s children? No. But God does have disobedient children… and he does discipline his children. He also lovingly welcomes them back to his arms when they repent.

  7. I’m with you… GOD CAN and ABSOLUTELY DOES heal broken marriages. We are another example. My parents were “on again, off again” while we were growing up. There was always one thing after another. We were afraid of our dad and our Mom was MISERABLE.

    How would divorce have made ANY of that any better? If they did divorce then my Mom would’ve either HAD to work leaving us with whoever would keep us… OR she’d remarry leaving us to HAVE to go to my Dad’s NEW home every other weekend and holidays. (We’d have been TRULY MISERABLE!) NEITHER of them have EVER tried it GOD’S WAY.

    I can testify that GOD worked a miracle in my marriage and it’s gotten even SWEETER (yes, as the days go by) since I’ve learned that he doesn’t NEED my opinion on each and every little thing. He doesn’t NEED me to tell him HOW to do “this or that.” GOD made Link to be in charge and make decisions and worry about bills. I got the easy job. I’m able to stay home and raise our children. I get the blessing of teaching them to LOVE the LORD all day long, to keep our home, and to meet my husband’s needs. HOW can GOD’S plan go wrong???

  8. This is great. However, what about the spouse (Christian) who is so far backslidden that he (or she) does not want anything to do with the Lord or with reconciling the marriage. I don’t speak from my own experience, just know other Christians that this has happened to.

  9. hi Faith. Speaking from my personal experience as a Christian who was back slidden that bad.. I would have hardly called myself a Christian at that point and I wasn’t broken enough, I was too selfish to repent. I was the one who walked away and my hubby had every right to divorce me. He didn’t. Because he choose to honor God in our marriage even though I choose not to at that point. God broke me. I went down paths I don’t ever wish to go again, but he was so merciful and I know his love has covered my multitude of sins that I could never have forgiven myself for if he didn’t love me.
    I do believe God can turn any marriage around, it just may not happen in the timing we’d like. I don’t believe that a marriage of two believers can be broken if they are REALLY following God. There has to be more to it than that. We looked perfect for many years while we were breaking and straying from God… it didn’t just happen. It happened over years of hidden disobedience.

    A really good book that talks about this Marriage undercover by Bob And Audrey Miesner.

  10. Marvellous! An honest and insightful post, Amydeanne (despite your computer glitches). I certainly agree with everything you’ve said. It takes hard work and it’s a choice to stay married, but it’s the best choice.

    You are to be commended for being faithful to your committment before God. You had the cards stacked against you, with divorced parents AND grandparents. The Lord is good, and he can work miracles, and I’m blessed to know your story of faith, hope, and love.

    Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today. Hugs and blessings, e-Mom

  11. Thanks for reading my post on this topic. I admire you both for working to work it out and especially to read that you have decided not to include the word divorce in your marriage.
    Thanks for your words.

  12. Divorce is so very painful. I’m sorry its hurt you as well.

    I believe God can heal any marriage but due to the hardness of hearts (sometimes in only one partner) he makes allowances for it.

  13. I remember a dear friend giving me that verse oh about 15 years ago…’God hates divorce.’ Those words penetrated my very heart. Did I listen? Nope…

    I am now a believer and I know that He makes all things new. There is grace for those of us who decide to go down that road. My new neighbor is now talking to me about divorce. It is just about breaking my heart. Now is where the rubber meets the road….I am going to have to sit down with her and share what exactly God says. I am not sure if she is a believer or not. I am praying that when the Lord gives me that opportunity, that I won’t shrink back.

    Blessings, Joanne

  14. after seeing those oprah shows, i would have to say no to divorce too, knowing that THAT decision comes with its own challenges. you seem very strong and i wish you and your family and lifetime of happiness – you are certainly working consciously for it!

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