Boy, this topic sure has been on my heart lately.
Our care group has started up this past week (well, preliminaries anyhow) and we had a wonderful night out in the 160 acre woods. My first guests! lol. And as you can see by my collage my thoughts about caregroup. Friends don’t have to flesh and blood to be family. We need to live life together. To share in our joys and sorrows. Talking to each other we find out we have a lot more in common than “just a few” things we like. We have to dig to have real friendships in Christ. Otherwise we’re moreso acquaintances. We didn’t all start out having something similar in common, except our interest in Jesus, and even that was very different ~ we are not all at the same spot in our lives, and our views are all very different, all of our experiences, lifestyles, walks are different. It’s a 2 part effort to have a real relationship, but we can be “friends” by being the friend we want others to be. This is what we work on in our “care group”; caring for each other, learning what we really want out of life, and how to be Christ like as God asks us to be.
Our pastor discussed this Sunday in Ephesians, and his point was where do you want to grow this year? Do you have friends who are growing with you?
I believe it’s important to have non-Christian people whom you want to effect in your life. Chances are you don’t have to look far for them. Your family, your children, your neighbor’s, etc. (or at least I don’t have to!)
On the other hand, I NEED fellowship with Christian woman and families to help my walk with Christ. I am working on learning more about this. Trying to be a better friend and I want to encourage you to do the same. Having deep and meaningful relationships and a deeper connection than we “both like coffee” goes a lot further. I’ve had several “friends” whom I’ve had great times with, but would I call them in a time of crisis? Would they help me out at 3 am ? Do they have my best interests, or any interest at all for me in their mind, or are they working on their own agenda? Unfortunately we live in a very selfish society and people are in it for their own gain; including in the “Christian” circles. Only helping if it makes them look good. Only doing things to help them pursue their agenda’s.
I have been like that in the past. I admit it. I thought I was doing it for other reasons, but I looked down inside and could see my selfishness in it. I don’t want to be like that. If I’m too comfortable in my relationships, I’m not digging deep enough. I want to challenge others, and I want to be challenged. I want to be secure in my relationship with God and my husband, and have good friends, but we need to make sure we are pursuing the issues with God’s purpose in mind.
I’m not very good at surface friendships.
I don’t do small talk well at all. I show who I am ~ rough edges and all. I know it scares people. Wearing my heart on my sleeve so to speak. But would you rather not get to know someone? or think you are getting to know someone, and find out they aren’t that person at all?
Striking up a conversation is one thing, striking up a “authentic friendship” is another thing. I’m not really a “people” person, but my friends I do have, I want to hold them dear to me, and walk with them through their struggles & joys.
Friendship can be born of a simple conversation, but it’s the upkeep that really matters.
What you do with your words, and conversations is up to you.
Are you genuine in listening or are you talking to be heard?
WWJD? Talk about the coffee or the giver of the most refreshing coffee there is??? That warms not only the body, but the soul.
Get out of your comfort zone. I know I need to. But do it with grace (and tact is always helpful lol.. i need some of that some days)
okay, babbled off again… not sure how coherant that was, but I’m always thrilled to learn and participate in this.