In Other Words

At first, I didn’t think this applied to me. My children are only 3, 2, & 1. I’m a stay at home mom; so I wasn’t going to do this quote this week, but than I began to think about it over the weekend.

I’ve struggled with purpose of formalized education my whole life. I had one of those amazing older siblings who excelled at everything educational and otherwise, and I on the other hand just did okay. I struggled with the push from my parents to do more than just become a mommy as I wanted since I was 5 years old! I stuggled with finding a “higher educational” purpose in life, and just when I began my real career God’s calling was stronger, and my life education took me down another road.

To some degree I dispise formal education. My family was okay, but we weren’t classified as rich. While most of my friends had their parents pay for education or had jobs at their parents companies; I didn’t. I earned every bit of my education; both formally and informally. I paid for it ~ no one else did~ (yes, real and hard-knocks). I didn’t believe in going in debt, so I didn’t want a student loan. And for the one time, I actually went to check the info out on it, I couldn’t qualify b/c my husband made too much money (not exactly sure how that worked, but it was pretty silly).

I taught myself graphic designing before I was out of high school. I taught myself how to do websites w/o taking classes. Only after I had mastered the skills I went to take a “formal” class just to see what I was missing… for the most part, most of the instructors asked me how to do it (and please, no, I’m not meaning to sound this as being proud). And they didn’t understand why I was taking the classes. You see, I didn’t have the formal education on paper (and from my upbringing, paper work was what made you worth something), so I had to go back and get a piece of paper to say I was of value. Did I care? No. Did my family care. Yes, I believed they did and I wanted to make my parents happy.

I still remember reading my dad’s website that he had made several years back. He listed my brother and myself. He listed my brothers accomplishments and than he listed me.. “married to Mr. C who has this and that paper accomplishment”…. I remember the feeling of disappointment in my heart. To me, looking at my dad’s website, I felt like I was a failure in his eyes… and maybe I am/was.

I never was ambitious. I was driven at wanting to serve God while I was young, but my family didn’t really support that ~ not that they discouraged me, but they didn’t really say anything about that one way or another. I always felt I was in the shadow of my brothers educational achievements. I can understand it though, we come from a society that promotes womens right and higher education goes hand in hand. That we need it to make more money because our husbands can’t provide for us, and that we need to be independant incase our husbands decide to leave us for that younger more beautiful woman. And higher education means more money, and more money means more things. Sure, that would be lovely, but with more money and more power there comes more responsibility (I believe that’s a quote from spiderman haha).

I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to live at the beach and run a camp for children. I didn’t want extravegance; though I can’t deny I like sparkley things lol.
I really have had to re-evalutate my thoughts about money and education and what is important to me.

“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other,
or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both
God and Money.

Mt 6:24

Now, I don’t want people to take this the wrong way, because I’m sure I’ve offended someone with my words and this is to say the least a very summed up version of my thoughts on this. Education is good and wonderful. I think education in life is necessary. We learn as we grow and mature do we not? We educate ourselves and we learn from others as well as teach others throughout our lives. God gave us minds that need to be matured. We need to realize what God wants us to use them for and “just do it” (hehe, nike quote now).

Formal education got in the way of my learning. It distracted me from my purpose in life. What I really wanted to do b/c I felt obligated to aquire something that I haven’t really wanted. Do I regret what I’ve learnt? No, I don’t. Everything learnt has some value, whether it feels like it or not at the time. I think it’s learning to take our education; both formal and informal and apply it the way God wants us to in our lives. At this point in time, I’m sure many people look at my life and think I’ve wasted my education becoming a mother and should go back to work. I don’t. I’m happy and I believe that mothering has required all of my past education and is teaching me more than university ever has. I have been learning that it doesn’t matter what other people think of my qualifications. God will use me from what I’ve been educated in the past with, and what I need to learn now. That I need to ask myself, what does God’s word say about what “education” I need. I think I need to keep digging in his word to know what I need to be concentrating on, and not worry what the “world” believes I should be doing with my education or what kind of education I need.

Am I smart? maybe not in world standards, but I do know the truth. And I know where I’ll be at the end. Do you?

Okay, lol did I go off topic? Not sure! God Bless! And remember I’m digging deeper! Not perfect, just forgiven!
xoxo
Amy

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